NFF
REPORT: 2G6
by Reggie Queequeg
photos by Mike
Muniak
logo by Maya
Miller
Man, remember
how crazy my Baltimore story was last year when I wrote my
No Fun report? Well, this year's report starts with me MOVING
to Baltimore. I left my folks' house in MN w/ a rented Chevy
"Classic". That is the actual name of the car, it
kind of looks like an unmarked white cop car, which would
cause lots of speeders coming up on me to slow down and follow
me for 15 minutes or so, until deciding that I am NOT a cop.
My first
stop is Middle of Nowhere Between Madison and Milwaukee, Wisconsin
at my previous tour buddy Mansfield's 100 year old schoolhouse.
He was a very good host, and I got plenty drunk and clouded,
for the first time in a few weeks. We watched lots of footage
of International Noise Conference 2006, which included Mansfield
peeing on another former tour buddy RJ's foot, because RJ
had stepped on a jellyfish! It is actually the proper medical
thing to do and RJ said "Wow, it feels a lot better"
on the movie.
Next stop was Akron
OH, where I was staying at the house of Tusco Terror, that
one band I was raving about in the last review I wrote. Their
response to that review was "If you ever need anything,
just ask!" So I did, I asked "Can I crash at your
house on my moving trip to Baltimore?" and they kindly
said yes. It was a super fun time, we ended up going dancing
at some crazy Akron discoteque which played lots of indie
rock fave songs. I kept on busting Ben Tusco's balls over
the songs, like "man, your generation is all about the
second Weezer album, even though it totally sucks", and
"What the fuck is this song, something from the 2nd Strokes
album or some shit?" (it turned out to actually be off
the 2nd Yeah Yeah Yeahs album). I apparently even danced to
that one Postal Service band, who I always assumed sucked
(and I am still pretty sure they do). Also, I booty danced
with a Christian girl to that song "Hey Yah" by
Outkast, which I had been sick of for a long time, but after
a break of hearing it, it's good again!
Then I
drove to Baltimore, and heard the Ignition remix by R. Kelly
on the radio while rolling into town, which I took to be a
good omen. I put most of my gear in Twig's brother Caleb's
place, and just stayed on the humongous Tarantula Hill couch.
It was a good few days, I became friends w/ this guy Seth
who was staying in the guest room, a cool bearded mug from
Nebraska (or one of those flat states).
We decided
to go up to New York on Thursday, as Carly was doing a performance
thing at some sort of dinner theater place, and there was
a pre-No Fun gig at this gallery. The place where Carly did
her thing, Monkeytown was a pretty impressive place, bar and
tables in the front, and in the back was a room w/ couches
and 4 huge screens, one on each wall. Carly's performance
was about magic, pretty much, but done in a style that reminded
me a little bit of those New Agey corporate encounter group
things you read about, the ones where people learn about mind
over matter by walking across hot coals, but then don't do
it properly (it's a physics thing about wood being a poor
conductor of heat, you need to walk briskly), then end up
getting 2nd degree burns and going to the hospital. However
Carly is smarter than that, and things ran pretty smoothly,
we did some meditation, ate some chocolate in "the proper
way", and did an exercise where you had to stare in the
eyes of a person you don't know for an extended period of
time. I ended up w/Seth as everyone else found a partner pretty
quickly, and we didn't get picked, school gym style. Another
part of her piece was a recording of some conversations w/
West Baltimore people, where you were supposed to write down
words that caught your attention. Then you were supposed to
put it someplace you'd come across it later. I put in in my
wallet and came across it at the Tarantula Hill Benefit show
a month later, and it read "loud house ok folk system
difficulties regular different analyze are shit god smoke
house are blame deaf house crime". Which, in some metaphorical
ways (is there any other kind?) predicted the upcoming T.
Hill crisitunities. Clearly there was some tapping into the
place where everything happens at once going on here...
After that we went
to the Glass House Gallery, which was a little more burley
than I expected, but in a good way. As in, it was a trashed
out garbage hut style, but still reasonably clean (no cat
shit on the floor or anything), and well run. We got there
just as Lambsbread ended, which I was a little pissed about,
as I'd heard great things about this band. Met the mugs and
mugette from the band though, totally great folks, who are,
shall we say, very into reggae, literally and in the wink
way. This band Melee played, which is the band Graveyards,
only without John Olson, and they did a very nice free electroaccousticwhatever
thing, "heavy air" music maybe? M.V. Carbon (I am
not sure what the M.V. stands for, but surely it doesn't stand
for "Matt Valentine") played solo, and did her witchy
Cyndi Lauper reel to real CB mic jams which made me feel very
stoned, even though I wasn't yet. Or maybe I was.
Scarcity
of Tanks rocked em next, which is the project of that nut
Wasco who runs the Slow Toe publishing conglomerate cabal.
He was joined by Nate Tusco Terror and Leslie Leslie Keffer
on guitars, and then some guy who I can't remember who he
was on drums. For the last song, Nate and Leslie went out
into the crowd to try and start a mosh pit, which I joined
in on. However, no one else did, but we continued to go nutz
anyways. Child Abuse went on, and I didn't care for them too
much, they were one of those energetic spazz rock bands, which
still end up sounding a bit too "lite" for my taste.
However, by this time I was loaded for sure, and maybe they
were just having a bad night...or maybe not, and they should
just quit making music FOREVER! Some sort of Pete Nolan jam-guy
thing went on too, but I can't remember what they were like
right now. Last was Noel Von Harmonson and Eric Bauer doing
a duo, which was pretty awesome, in a falling flat on their
ass sort of way. They were both very tired and drunk, Eric
played a guitar w/ a screwdriver, sitting down, and Noel had
a suitcase full of gear that he set on a keyboard stand, which
ended up falling shut all the time! Soundwise it was just
sort of ok (like maybe as good as that Thurston Moore / Beck
/ Tom Surgal tape on Freedom From), but performance wise it
was top notch!
Friday,
St Patrick's day, the first day of the No Fun Fest. We were
there early, as Carly was preparing food for the bands, and
since my culinary, and also small motor skills are somewhat
limited, I mostly stayed clear after doing some of the heavy
lifting. Despite, or no, BECAUSE of this the food was great!
The main course was some pasta with noodle sauce, which from
what I hear was INCREDIBLE hot, I had it cold later in the
evening (I didn't want to be stealing food from the mouths
of bands who would be blowin' my mind!). There was also some
salad, and some delicious lil' cookies! All in all, a perfect
stomach foundation of a meal for a night of intense things
happening, and also lots of drinkin'... A-and here's where
time starts getting strange for me, I think it was before
any bands actually started, Seth comes up and says "Caleb
called, there was a fire at Tarantula Hill." Horror crept
over me, and I became sort of a zombie for the rest of the
night, imagining the worst. A quick mental inventory of what
I had over there gave me nothing to complain about, my knockoff
Carhardt (Fleet Farm brand) jacket, some blankets, a few clothes,
my laptop (which had nothing that important on it). But is
Tarantula Hll burned to the ground? Will the people I moved
to Baltimore for, some of my favorite people I've ever met,
be forced to move someplace else? The show starts, and I barely
remember anything for a while. 16 Bitch Pileup
did a pretty mellow set, Rat Bastard saying to me "I
remember when this band rocked!" Haha! After a while
Can't played, Jessica started off with a
solo voice song, then did some noise blurbles combined with
her angelic voice, it brought tears to my eyes. By this point
I'd had enough beers and smokes to the point where I could
sort of surf on the paranoia and empathy and animal self preservation
insticts a-and still have a good time.
I headed
downstairs to check out Deathpile, who featured
Mike Connelly in the band, doing some utterly ridiculous power
electronics. My favorite song started out "We're fucking
back" BALALALALAHAHAHAHAHGHGHGH!!!!! So dumb, and so
awesome at the same time. Then I headed upstairs for Aaron
Dilloway's set, which was an insane attack! Tons
of the Michigan mugs onstage, whipping towels around, rocking
fists, bumbing into each other, going nuts! The next band
I caught was Bone Awl, who were in the basement,
I remember being amazed by the drums sounding so shitty (in
an awesome HC song over a clock radio speaker way) and the
bass player just standing there, staring ahead, not moving,
while a riot was goin' on. I am PRETTY sure this was Bone
Awl, but I could be wrong. I spent a lot of time outside,
smoking and talking to folks about what was going on with
T. Hill. It turned out the house was not going to be condemned,
but would have a lot of work to be done. Twig and Carly decided
to stay for the next day at least, as Twig was going to be
playing, and there wasn't a whole lot they could do right
then. Meanwhile, at T. Hill, Max Eisenberg, Peter B., Caleb
Johnston, and Lexie Mountain were wading through foot-deep
toxic filth water, cleaning the place out! They are heroes!
Anyways, Smegma played last, with some legendary
jazz guy sitting in with them. They really are the most psychedelic
band ever. Every good thing about every good kind of music
in every song, then the next song is the good stuff you forgot
about. I wish I could remember the name of the jass legend,
but it's slipped my mind. He was great too! Oh, I forgot to
mention the DJs, Clint Simonson from the DeStijl label, and
Stephen O'Malley, who is in that Sunn o)) band. Clint mostly
played weirdo stuff, but O'Malley dropped some things like
Nick Drake into the mix, and Clint got pissed when people
asked if he did it. "I would never play Nick Drake at
this fest!" said Clint! And it was a little bit dumb
that O'Malley did that, but whatever, I'd probably be even
MORE dumb if I was DJing! "Haw haw, it'd be hilarious
if I played 'If yr feeling sinister' by Belle and Sebastian,"
I'd probably say. Then halfway through the song I'd be all
"THIS IS DUMB!" and clumsily switch to some other
record....
CAN'T brings the tears.
AARON DILLOWAY fends off amorous advances by
Ron Lessard.
SMEGMA: They really are the most psychedelic band ever.
The next day, Saturday
featured some of the best performances, I thought. I ended
up skipping out on the unoffical daytime events, even though
they featured awesome folks like Awesome Color, HZMT, and
M.V. Carbon, again. Instead I hung out at the Usaisamonster
compound, chatting with Tom, Barbara, Colin, and assorted
people who were also staying on their floor. They were great
hosts! We ate some amazing pancakes, and drank some incredibly
good and strong coffee. I went w/ Twig and Carly to the venue
early, where I napped a bit, and chatted with people, once
again totally not helping with food preparation at all. This
food being some great soba noodles and seaweed salad, and
those cute little cookies again!
It turned
out the first band that was going on was some teenagers whose
parents didn't know they were there! They told them they were
visiting Denver for the weekend, and instead took a two day
bus ride to New York City to play at a noise festival! O.P.C.
was the name they were listed as on the bill, but I think
they might've actually been going by a different name. Musically
they were just sort of ok, the kind of thing that would sound
great in a basement I'm sure, but didn't really work on stage.
However, you can't beat their story! The night started off
with Spider Compass Good Crime Band, which
was made up of some giant strangely colored birds with big
necks, who played noisy organs. Well sometimes noisy, other
times it was more loungey. They were a good low key way to
start the evening though. They were also the only full set
I stayed for in the basement, since it got really crowded
and was difficult to see. Hive Mind played, and sounded great
on the big speakers, doing his insect swarm meltdown that
turns your mind into the equivalent of a bee hive, drippy,
sticky, and full of holes! (And bees.)
Then Bloodyminded
played, and were totally ridiculous as always. They had some
guy who I think was new in the band who had long hair, and
seemed to be a bit of a Rocker Dude. He was going crazy, running
around acting wild. At one point Carly got on stage and did
some standing meditation thing on the side of the stage, I
thought it was interesting to add a feminine peace vibe to
the macho HC vibe, but Rocker Dude wasn't having any of it,
and threw her off the stage, despite her protests (which I'm
sure had to do with her back problems, but it was too loud
to hear, I am sure. Fortunately she wasn't injured). Next
was White Rock, which is Mouthus+Double Leopards,
and they hypnotised me to the point that I can barely remember
any of their set.
Twig
Harper was next, but beforehand a tape by that one
Mothers Against Noise organization was played over the PA,
made by the leader of that organization "M. Smith".
She seems a bit loopy if you ask me. Her tape was recorded
so her voice was slowed down, so she sounded like that one
Ween song where they're at the drive-thru! Apparently she
thinks her son turned gay from noise music! The person running
the sound added some psychedelic effects to it, so it was
hard to understand what she was saying during the end portion
of the tape. I remember at one point she said something along
the lines of "Do any of you have pets? How would you
feel if you let your pet out of your house and they commited
self destructive acts, or sexual peversion?" Well we
have a pet at my house, my main mug Boots the cat, and even
though he's been Fixed, I hope he is still commiting sexual
perversions when he leaves the house! Put that in your pipe
and smoke it, M Smith!!!
Twig played,
apparently he had these plans to do all sorts of crazy stereo
panning stuff, but that ended up not working, so he winged
it, and it was gorgeous. It started off with him manipulating
a music box thing, these delicate tones, that eventually became
overwhelmed with chaos. "Fuck, my house is burned!"
he was yelling during some parts. Much as the delicate stability
of his home was overwhelmed by that primordial element, fire.
It was AWESOME, and ended up bringing even more tears to my
eyes than Jessica Rylan did... Afterwards the crowd went nuts,
and you could feel the waves of love coming at you on stage.
(I was sitting behind him for the set). It was a great moment.
After him, I ended up missing a bunch of Daniel Menche's
set, but I'd seen him do his sound check. He had some gear
towards the back, and a microphone in front, and he'd run
back and forth, somehow creating this huge textural wall of
grit. He also had some weird device that I think he held up
to his neck, but I have no idea what it was. Getting into
the moment, he started hanging from the speakers, which looks
good, but is pretty dangerous, and pretty uncool. The owner
of the club, Jeff was pretty pissed off about that. It kind
of put a damper on his set for me. Then Macronympha
played, and I missed them too, but I guess it was chaos, of
the uncool kind, and some bottles and tables ended up getting
thrown around, which is also pretty uncool. Some guy got his
head cut open, and I ended up walking him upstairs to the
ambulance later on. I also skipped out on Sutcliffe
Jugend, I was a little harsh noised out by that point.
Last was the mighty Wolf Eyes, who were unable
to play "Burn Your House Down" for Twig and Carly,
but were still great! And Aaron Dilloway performed with them
for some songs, doing vocals, which ended up completely thrashing
up his throat so he could barely talk the next day.
JAMES TWIG HARPER: There is a light that never
goes out...
DANIEL MENCHE: It looks good, but is totally unsafe, and not
cool...
Next morning
Twig and Carly left early to check out the carnage at T. Hill,
I stuck around since I really wanted to stay for the whole
weekend. The night started off in the basement, which was
really where the hot action was that night, with a few very
noteable exceptions. First up was The Beast,
which was Wolf Eyes with Smegma. The basement was packed,
and I couldn't tell who was doing what, but it was a great
what! Jambled up jams, fucked beyond belief, another set that
hypnotized me. Then I headed up to check out Eloe
Omoe, since they were staying at the same place I
was, and they are really nice people. I'm glad I caught their
set, they are a bass noise plus insane drum band, who manage
not to sound like Lightning Bolt. If you are in a bass and
drum band, perhaps you should start doing the same thing!
Then back downstairs, to check out the Video Madness,
which is a project by Nate Young and his lady Alivia doing
various sorts of video feedback. It's pretty gorgeous, the
source material only occasionally recognizable as some porno,
or a strange African movie.
Then back
up the stairs for the mighty Fat Worm of Error,
I had forgot how much they rip live, and how retarded(ly awesome)
Neil Young is to watch play drums. Then I headed back downstairs
for a while, where the crowd had cleared a little bit, and
a reggae dance party was happening! All kinds of reggae, from
King Tubby to "Roxanne" by the Police, to "Roxanne"
immediatly after, only played at 33 instead of 45! Brews were
smoked, smokes were brewed, and everyone danced the night
away, away. Sick Llama played an amazingly
sick set, which some people who've seen him play lots said
was his best set ever. Then Ex-Cocaine went
on, which is Bryan Ramirez (who used to be in Universal Indians)
decked out in a University of Michigan basketball Grateful
Dead shirt, and a guy whose name I forgot on some sort of
bongo drum. They played a definite blues rock set, with some
noisy parts, but mostly just goodtimes jamming, late Minneapolis
No Doctors style, only they didn't play for too long, as No
Doctors had a tendency to do. He even tuned his guitar at
one point, a first for No Fun Fest?
Lambsbread
crashed the bill, semi-officially, and man, does that band
kick ass! A man and a woman shredding guitars, and a drummer
who's fast and free. Of all the bands getting the Next Harry
Pussy label these days (most of them whom are maybe The Next
Yips, on their best night) who'd a thunk these reggae fans
from the sticks of Ohio would actually be the ones to step
up to the plate? I didn't even mind that much that I missed
Leslie Keffer and Thurston Moore's set upstairs, which was
one of the sets that I was most excited about! At this point
I was pretty wiped out, and couch crashed in the green room
for a while, catching the tail end of Borbetomagus.
What more can be said about this band? They are the kings
of music. Astromero went next, doing a space
age hum which made me hallucinate a little bit (generally
cats in the corners of my eyes, things like that, but some
weird face melt when I walked by a reflection of myself too)!
Closing
out the fest was No Neck Blues Band, whom
lots of people seemed to be into, but after talking to them
afterwards I found out they WEREN'T! I thought they were great,
otherwise I would've been hanging out outside! They were a
lot more aggro than I'd seen them before, but unlike at DeStijl
Fest II, they weren't yelling "Fuck you!" at the
audience or anything, they were just attacking their instruments,
and doing screaming. At one point David Nuss was naked and
covered in (presumably fake) blood. I guess some of the haters
said they were too hippieish, but that's the kind of hippy
style I can get down with. Getting super stoned, going crazy,
writing LSD IS GOD on the wall, giving 14 year olds the clap.
And thus ended the No Fun Fest 2006, oh yeah, I forgot to
mention this song John Schoen played when he was DJing, it
was called "We're An Industrial Band", and it went
"we're coming to your town, we're going to bring you
down, we're an industrial band", then there'd be a noise
jam. It was a great song, I will have to find out who it's
by sometime! (Addendum: I found out that it's by Culturcide,
and it's on their Tacky Souvenirs of Pre-Revolutionary
America, an album which I OWN but hadn't listened to
in about 4 years!) Final score: Buildings burned down: 1.
Heads cut open: 1. Pipes broken or disappeared: 2 that I know
of (mine n' Leslie's). Beers drank: 100,000,000. Barely escaped
with what little sanity I have left, and I guess Jeff, the
owner of the Hook wants next year to be FOUR DAYS, with an
outdoor show on Sunday??? See you in the rubber room, I guess...
FAT WORM OF ERROR: Possibly the LEAST retarded Neil looked
during the whole set!
BORBETOMAGUS: Even though they do this pretty much every time
they
play, it's always awe-inspiring...
All hail CARLOS GIFFONI!
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