One-sentence record reviews
"Makes Tony Conrad sound like the Pogues!" (Neil Campbell half of split tour CDR w/Universal Indians)

"Even as I can marvel at each moment of every song -- nay, each and every very heavy note the crazily synchronized and ultra-sharp band plays, one after the other -- I want to quit listening to it, because the air and heat and the mystery of the music all seems to be contained under a glass called studio sheen -- in other words, a genre exercise." (Gorguts)

Out of the Blue Update!
Remember last issue's record-store yarn, when I tried and failed to buy the copy of E.L.O.'s Out of the Blue the clerks were spinning? I closed the anecdote with "No problem, no big deal...I'll find another one." Well, I was right, having found a mint copy for $2.99 at Reckless North a couple hours ago. It doesn't skip at all! The vinyl looks and plays great! Must be a second pressing! I didn't jump straight to "Mr. Blue Sky", I decided to play it from the beginning, which was "Turn To Stone," hot as ever, but right now I'm kicking myself for not playing "Mr. Blue Sky" first, for denying myself the perfect magic spell of reenacting a childhood E.L.O. love ritual, of rewriting history so that it says I brought home the little LP that could. (See last issue for details.) Why did I deny myself? Probably because it's hip these days for adults to try and keep living like kids, which seems to be fomenting within us some strange behavior, and even though I'm pretty sure I might technically be a hipster, I just don't wanna go out like that, na'm'say'n'? .

Larry "Fuzz-O" Dolman update
I just stepped on my cowboy hat, which was laying on the ground, and for a second I thought I had stepped on my cat which was lying right beside it. Scary!

SOME LISTS!!!!

Annoying Emo Band Names:
1. Texas is the Reason
2. Proudentall
3. The Get Up Kids
4. His Hero Is Gone
5. Endeavor
6. Jimmy Eat World
7. The Juliana Theory

Good Restaurants, Chicago:
1. Father and Son Pizza on North Milwaukee.
2. Ribs 'n' Bibs in Hyde Park. Holy shit, for like $2.50....
3. Nice veggie burrito at Rico McTaco's on Fullerton!
4. Indian buffet at The Tiffin on Devon.
5. The breakfast burrito at Flying Saucer on California is slammin'!

Good Restaurants, Corporate Fast Food:
1. Wendy's. Simply the best. Better than all the rest.
2. Subway. These guys have really revamped their style for the better over the last couple years. I mean, the new breads rule! And that Asiago stuff....
3. Taco Bell. The one inside the Target on Elston is good! That's right, a Taco Bell inside a Target! These really are the best of times...
4. McDonald's. The recent "2 for $2" special rekindled my old love for this, the most evil of all corporations.
5. Burger King. The Whopper -- oh, the Whopper. 39 grams of fat and worth every single one. The BK on Humboldt Park seems to be perenially selling their Whoppers for 99 cents.

What album am I listening to right now?
"Gimme Danger" might be the best Stooges song full-stop. Definitely their best ballad, edging out even "Dirt," but yet the middle eight builds into a screaming raveup as frenzied as anything the Stooges had ever done. The song also might be the introduction of Iggy's slightly camp Morrison/Sinatra/
Bowie/Danzig crooner style that he's really grown into with his solo career, and the guitar playing/overdubbing is really something, layers of subtle acoustic/acid leads/arpeggios. The chorus ending with "...hit me like the ocean breeze........HEY!!!" is where Patti Smith got her chorus-ending "makes me come on like some heroin/e" hook for the song "Dancing Barefoot."
       "Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell" has an instantly classic title that influenced the Ramones, and a raging Chuck Berry backdrop that is rendered genius by one of Iggy's great vocals, a humorous rant, another early 'character' vocal. "If you wanna make a buck, boy, you gotta cha cha cha cha chall..." is clearly a prostitution reference even if I can't figure out what he says during the "cha cha cha cha chall" part.
       "Penetration" is one of the greatest punk songs of all time. Easy. At least, one of the greatest intentionally laid-back (think "menacing" instead of "thrashing") punk songs of all time. This is absolutely some great singing. And hey! A moog/mellotron/synth or something deep in the background of the chug-scape plays string section patches and occasionally busts out this perfect happy five-note riff on the turnaround. Early rock/electronica crossover! Tell John McEntire the news! Sickening guitar solo, mixed even higher than Lou's in "Heard Her Call My Name" but much more 'on the nod' than Lou's speed-addle.

Nowadays we call it "pimped out"...
"He picked me up at Heathrow Airport in London in this big old Daimler limousine - you know, one of those old-fashioned cars the Queen has. They're so nice. And Bryan put me in a nice hotel and then took me out to dinner. He was charming. He was a real gentleman and handsome and beautifully dressed and his hair was all black and shiny and slicked back and he smelled of Floris. I didn't have a boyfriend then and I really fancied him. I could see he liked me, too. The next day we took a train trip to Wales. I'd never been on a train like that - a beautiful old-fashioned train with old leather seats. That was great. And we had Anthony Price with us. He's a really good designer. He's a friend of mine still. He does all of Bryan's clothes and album covers. So they started telling me the idea of the [Siren album cover]." - Jerry Hall

Short takes...
Calling German rock ca. 1968-1975 'krautrock' is sort of like calling Italian rock ca. 1968-1975 'wop-rock'....So when did Life in Hell become The Akbar & Jeff Show? Is it just me or are you having trouble getting through just one Akbar & Jeff strip?....Dude I know from the day job on Stan Brakhage: "At best it's like something that a rock band would project behind them while they play." Funny thing is, at TV City shows they had a TV onstage playing the end of Dog Star Man a couple years ago. I think the Brakhage films that work best are his tiny 4-minute light films. The shorter they are, the more they are like a painting that, instead of hanging on a wall for you to look at, flickers past and then is gone.....Dream one-shot magazine: A series of essays, photos, and remembrances on the career of prolific crime/fantasy/
adventure auteur Walter Hill, with a side article on the Hill-produced Alien Resurrection. Hill happens to have co-produced all four of the Alien movies....no wonder he could afford all those flops like Streets of Fire and Red Heat and Brewster's Millions....I still think Alien Resurrection is an underrated movie...Winona Ryder's in it and the horror elements are totally bonkers and downright transgressive in parts....It's still winter in Chicago, with snowfall of over 10 inches in two days! In fact it's coming down right now! But it's such soft, fluffy snow. It piles up so slowly. It doesn't hurt a fly. Except drivers, but the city's snow removal crew is so top-notch, there isn't much danger. Props to the City of Chicago Snow Removal Department!!
....."Top 5 snowiest cities Fri., March 1, 2002 9:00 a.m. ET U.S. current snow cover - Click to enlarge 1. Denver, Colo. 2. Omaha, Neb. 3. Des Moines, Iowa 4. Kansas City, Mo. 5. Chicago, Ill." -- weather.com.....The one-note piano part on "I Wanna Be Your Dog" by The Stooges may be traceable to the piano on "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks.